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Mexico - Baja California // Veganza De Montezuma

Killvan's Baja California. A tale of Veganza De Montezuma, the disastrous illness on a surf trip through Mexico.

Sometimes having the shits is better than being a stubborn prick and bottling it up…but then again, havin’ the shits aint worth dyin’ for…

After a diet consisting of nuthin’ but Betty Crocker Porridge the pipes seized up and it became difficult to pass a good brown. We traveled to the Arctic seeking cold waves to surf and Buffalo flesh. With no fluffy leafy green we ate like roaming carnivorous warlocks gradually jamming the trapdoor of ol’ Winney.

Weeks of constipation unfolded as a legume void had me stuffed like a chicken is seasoned, hoping a steaming follow through would accompany the slightest of bum rupture. But alas, the digestive system failed the bovine mince. As I prayed for the smooth beans of Mexico, a natural laxative slippery slide that would surely produce a healthy stool, I rode out the Arctic days corked.

It would be time for celebration on the day of an easy passing, and I estimated it to occur down Mehico way. Upbeat we charged off into the trash riddled cactus infested deserts of Baja seeking the waves of Scorpion Bay. It’s like Kirra after the holocaust, an oven cooked desert wasteland with a camp that feels like mankind’s last stand. It was hard times with curry sweatin’ days, heavy fly buzzed nights, just plain fucken hideous really.

The commute to Scorpion Bay was plagued with gringo episodes. With the ever faithful Dodge van bogged to the running boards on salt flats and the Mexican Militia ambushing us as we lay sand trapped in some god forsaken dunes, we were doomed from the start of our Mexican campaña. Our naivety had us becoming another white man casualty in brown mans land.





Location: Mexico, Baja California, Scorpion Bay Region.
Optimum: All year though best during the Northern Hemipshere Winter months.
Weather: Desert days and desert nights. Simply, be prepared.
Surf Conditions: Beachbreaks, Reef Breaks, Point Breaks.
Access: LAX Airport, San Diego Airport. freeway south for days.
Accomodation: Camping.
Live Free:  7/10.  Hardcore Third World Adventure.


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